You can't make this stuff up

The famous Roman cynic Petronius in Sienkiewicz's novel "Quo Vadis," upon being questioned for his cynical attitude, replied: "life is ridiculous, and so I laugh."

Life is truly absurd at times, and I often wonder whether things are really getting worse, or the media getting more effective at keeping track of human ludicracy. Take a sampling of the headlines from the past two weeks... (note: these are all real. You can look them up.)

--Woman attacked with sword in argument over puppy.

--CNN reports that "a recent study proves that men prefer women who are "hot." (gee, ya think?)

--Texas court of appeals frees man convicted of beheading his own three children, over "disputed evidence" introduced in his original trial.

--Three diamonds to be created using the carbon from Beethoven's hair.

--Comedian Kathy Griffin tells Jesus to "suck it" after accepting ward. Claims that
her "trophy is her God now."

--German town ditches traffic lights to improve road safety.

--Atheist author Richard Dawkins claims that religion is "child abuse," further
comparing Moses to Hitler and calling the New Testament a "sado-masochistic doctrine."

--Terrorists vow to behead "prostitute" Britney Spears.

--Then, of course, there is the wonderful moment where the "music" business finally caught on to the fact that Britney Spears... well, sucks. Here's hoping they realize that most of them fall into the very same category of un-talent as well.

--Falling Excrement Prompts Court Order for Tree-Sitters

--Mugger picks on blind Judo champ

and, in our most misleading news story of the week:
--"Birth control pill may cut cancer risk." Were this an article in "The Onion," it would likely continue: "neglecting to read the rest of the article, millions of women accosted pharmacy counters around the nation." --> Read the article further, and you will find that the cut is minimal (around 1%) and applying to women who took the pill for a short time. Women who took the pill for over 8 years (as many do) actually had an increased risk. So there you go. Again.

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Sometimes funny, sometimes tragic, often fond of misinformation, this is the world we live in. It is little wonder that so many people build their religious, philosophical, and political viewpoints on skewed perspectives and half truths (which are also full lies.)

I now understand why Petronius liked to laugh as he did.

And thanks to the miracle of media technology, there is now no shortage of ridiculous headlines to make us feel better (or worse) about ourselves.