How We Fail: Choosing Second Best

What causes us to fail in life?

Most of the people I've met in this world -- even the insufferable ones -- are basically good people. Still, many-if-not-most of these "basically good people" are living blindly. In living blindly, we cannot see goodness. It only follows that we cannot pursue that which we cannot perceive.

I've come to the conclusion (for now) that the great social disease of our time is the lack of faith in our own personal dignity. This causes us to doubt ourselves, doubt our worth, and doubt whether we deserve anything great in life.

As a result, we tend to choose what is "good enough," or "practical" enough as oppossed to what is truly meant for us.

Very often, this takes the form of choosing safely, and of choosing second-best.

People choose safely and second-best in their careers, in their moral lives, and in their romantic/marital relationships, to name only a few instances. This tends to manifest itself socially as well: just look at our past two Presidential elections, in which Americans were asked to choose the lesser evil, as opposed to the best candidate for the office.

I see friends ignoring their vocation in life, trying to replace it with so-called "responsible" short-term decision-making. I see women dating lack-luster men who have no idea of the worth of their women, and men who are either far too aggressive or far too passive to know the value of their women. I see idealism under complete attack, and it frightens me deeply.

I struggle with these things every day. It is a daunting struggle, but a worthy and necessary one.

It's difficult to live to your potential, but it is essential. It is terrifying to realize and pursue a life in alignment with your own self-worth, but it is exactly the terror which must be passed-through before the dawn.

I'm still too young to speak solely from experience on this topic, but the lives of the great people before us bears witness to these truths. The great people before us were not lucky or blessed (we are ALL blessed) -- they simply realized their origin and destiny, and lived accordingly. Chances are, you know somebody who is not famous, yet who has lived in an incredible fashion. Are not these people the most inspiring witnesses to goodness in your life?

In Ignatian spirituality, the novice is asked to envision their life from the perspective of a person on their death-bed. Seen from this perspective, everything takes on a different color and hue.

This simple exercise is my only resolution for the new year, because it will make all other improvements possible.

Live in line with your dignity. That is the only wish I present to my friends in this new year.