The Fascists and the Phallus

The great American author Sinclair Lewis wrote that:

"When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in a flag and carrying a cross."

Many Americans have heard this quote as of late, though not as a result of their literary dispositions or bookishness. This quote, like many other liberal one-liners, has become a popular commodity in the land of bumper-sticker politics.

Unfortunately for Mr. Lewis and his legion of one-liner bumper-sticker wielding liberals, there is no precedence for supporting such a statement. I think it would be more accurate to say:

"When Communism comes to America, it will be in the shape of a giant neon rainbow-colored dildo."

Such a powerful political symbol would be in the front of marches and parades across the nation, proudly followed by the likes of Barrack Obama, Al Gore and his fuzzy scientists, proud Frenchmen everywhere and Dumbledore. "Follow the Phallus!" would be their rallying cry. Actually, now that I think about it, it already is...

You see, my passionate bumper-sticker one-liner loving liberal friends: Christianity in America may have a historical precedent for being occasionally oppressive, but it has never made America weak. Nor has a God-fearing nation ever turned Fascist since the second world war. The facts are that the Nazi paradigm was built on Pagan superstition and Atheist philosophy (Nietzsche's.) The fact is, the grand Atheist Utopian worker-paradise known as Communism managed to amass a body count to make Hitler, Napolean, and Nero blush. Liberals parade around misinterpretations and sloppy history concerning the Inquisition, while totally ignoring the recent bloody work of their own kind.

There is no historical precedent linking Christianity and Fascism, despite what Mr. Lewis and his post-mortem bumper sticker publication success might lead you to believe. There IS, however, a clear and undeniable linking between Atheism, liberal thought, and more dead people than we can count.

This doesn't matter to the left, however. I've always been jealous of the liberals and their numerous bumper stickers. How comforting it must be to have a worldview supported by colorful snippets, one-liners, unburdened by solid research, information, or deeper reflection. It is no wonder that this perpetually childish offshoot of humanity supports Barrack Obama, a candidate who thinks that one-liners and half-baked visions are enough to run an entire nation.

Not that the Conservatives are doing much better, considering the candidates they're supporting and the great potential leaders they're allowing to be swept aside. Who ever thought that a female Presidential Candidate, especially one bearing the name of Clinton, would ever strike fear into the straight-shooting testosterone overdrive of the Republican Party? All the Jeds, Hanks, and Dicks are shaking in their collective cowboy boots.

As usual, the answers don't lie on bumper stickers. Liberals are wrong about most things, and extreme Conservatives fair only slightly better. The truth generally lies in the middle. The truth is also complex and uncomfortable, hence the general rejection of moderate political candidates who seek solutions instead of playing on fears or perpetuating one-liner political debate (a-la tv-news political "discussions.")

I've become convinced that American Democracy is only a larger, gray-haired version of high-school elections. Since the nation is not likely to drift into actual informed debate anytime soon, the question remains:

Is America ready for a moderate bumper sticker revolution?